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Sun Bingo (Sunbingo.co.uk)
The sunbingo site belongs to the tabloid of the same name, which has instituted an online bingo game in lieu of exerting any journalistic effort. sunbingo's home page is distinguished by what may be the worst flash animation ever created, prominently featuring a demented-looking young woman encased in shiny red cloth wearing a hairstyle of what seem to be shoulder pads that have gone through the wash several times too many. The woman represents sunbingo's enthusiasm to include customers in games like Bingo 80, Wonderland, The Sun Winning Headlines, and Mystic Meg's Wheel of Destiny. All that sounds like a series of signs posted along a carnival midway, which is of course the style espoused by parent company The Sun. For example, consider some of the innumerable Sun headlines, and try to pick a winner from among these contenders: "Gastric Ops For Kids," "Kate Goes Solo," "Ash: I Heard Nothing," or even "The 5,000 crooks we can't fling out of UK." Presumably readers of The Sun will know which Kate and Ash the headlines refer to, and be able to judge their literary merit accordingly, but most of us would be well advised to stick to the better-known bingo-based amusements.
sunbingo offers several categories of game, including the eponymous bingo variants, slots, and instant win games. The fascinating names of sunbingo's instant win games are Whack-a-Moley (The Sun will no doubt be hearing from someone at Creative Engineering, which invented the original carnival game in 1976), Poochie Racers (dog racing by "canine cuties"), Footballers' Widows (try to throw your husband's possessions out the window while he plays goalie, which may be simply art imitating life among The Sun's readership), and the mysterious Wags Shopping Spree, where the customer is left to guess who, or what, Wag may be. If you cannot understand why an adult would waste time, let alone five or ten pence, on this sort of foolishness, you do not read The Sun anyway, so you are fatally handicapped in any attempt at comprehension. On the other hand, anyone who has become acclimated to the peculiar conventions established by The Sun's controversial owner, Rupert Murdoch, will take to the sunbingo site as a racing duck to water.
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